I Am The Cheese
by silverjazz
Summary: Because the cheese stands alone...inspired by Robert Cormier's novel: I Am The Cheese.
1. The Farmer

I was so excited to start this idea, even though I have craploads of homework to do, a broken keyboard (which makes this story incredibly difficult to type), and so much stuff I need to do. But its just SUCH a good idea! And seriously, how can I _not _write it?

Summary: Because the cheese stands alone…

Inspired by Robert Cormier's book, I am the Cheese…amazing book, the best summer reading I ever had. And I don't own it, well, I own a copy, but not the rights to it. Or South Park. But you knew that already.

This is the prologue, its how the boys all met, of course, and is nothing compared to the story I'm going to tell…I'm so excited!

FYI This is all in Kenny's POV, even if it seems like 3rd person at times, you'll notice that Kenny is never referred to in third person, so it works.

* * *

**I Am The Cheese**

"_The farmer in the dell,_

_The farmer in the dell-"_

We were in preschool.

Finally, an escape from the place called "home."

I didn't quite know what to do with myself when I got there. Everyone was playing and had friends. I didn't know anyone aside from the fat kid who kept making fun of me and my family.

I tried to play with lots of kids but no one would let me in their games.

I had tried everyone, well, everyone except the two loners in the corner.

They weren't really loners, because they had each other, but they didn't want anyone else. The other kids just ignored them after a while. No use in trying to be friends with some who didn't really care.

They were oblivious to the world. Well, maybe not the whole world, but at least a good portion of the class. So when I walked over to them and interrupted their secret game, they were surprised, to say the least.

It didn't matter to me. If they were okay with me just sitting there in their company, I wouldn't even bother them. I didn't have anyone and I was lonely for a friend. No one would play with the poor little kid who didn't say anything. They were my last resort, but they didn't seem so bad...right?

* * *

After the initial shock of a new friend, the two boys made room for me and we started playing the blocks. I found out that the red haired kid was Kyle and the black haired kid was Stan. They knew each other for a long, long time. It was really obvious that they were best friends and didn't need anything other then each other. They didn't need me to play with them; they were just being nice to the lonely kid. 

But I appreciated it.

"_Hi-ho the derry-o,_

_The farmer in the dell."_

* * *

Prologue done, story is on its way and so much better! Tell me what you think so far  


	2. The Wife

Sorry for taking so long, I didn't realize how hectic my life was until I tried to write a multi-chapter fic. I'm really sorry, but I can't be a fast updater. I'll try, but don't expect a chapter every few days. Just so you understand, I'm not even a senior in high school and yet I take university classes. These classes decided to be the death of all things living and team up to create an impossible schedule that consists of four tests on the same day (NOT LEGAL!!), two tests the day before, and another test the day after. The weekend before these tests results in a full day of marching band practice (9AM starting) and ends when we get home at approximately midnight or later (competition). Then the next morning at 8AM sharp, I have community service, which is going on a six mile walk for cancer research. Again, sorry for the rant, but I just wanted you to understand, I can't update as frequently as I wish I could. And I really didn't mean to go off on a tangent, I guess I should get a journal to let it all out once in a while...

Yeah, so, onto the story...

I read the play in eighth grade, but I'm higher the grade level up a bit, maybe tenth or eleventh, but the boys are most definitely in high school.

Summary: Because the cheese stands alone…

Inspired by Robert Cormier's book, I am the Cheese…amazing book, the best summer reading I ever had. And I don't own it, well, I own a copy, but not the rights to it. Or South Park. Or A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare. But you knew that already.

* * *

**I Am The Cheese**

"_The farmer takes a wife,_

_The farmer takes a wife-"_

"This term's project will be a reenactment of one of the two couples in Shakespeare's _A Midsummer Night's Dream_. You will create your own ending and set it in modern times. There will be two to a group, you chose your partner, but make sure you both share the workload. I do not want to hear that there was an uneven partnership. Any questions?"

A girl with long black hair raised her hand.

"Yes, Wendy?"

A slightly-overweight boy dramatically sighed. The girl just glared at her classmate and turned to the teacher. "How long will we have this project for?"

"I would say the rough draft will be due next month and the final draft and performances will all be handed in and presented the week before Christmas break. Any other questions?"

"I have one," the said boy replied, without raising his hand.

"Yes, Eric?" the teacher put on a strained smile, knowing it would cause someone aggravation.

'Eric' smirked and glanced over at a couple of boys who were whispering fervently to each other. Apparently, they decided to be partners and were already planning what their project would encompass.

"Since this is a scene about a _couple_ should the pairs be boy and girl, or can we just pick whomever our hearts desire?"

The whispering boys turned around to glare at their classmate.

"Eric does bring up a rather good point. For this assignment, I want everyone to pair up with someone they haven't gotten to know well. It will expand your horizons. And yes, it needs to be boy and girl pairings. No exceptions."

"But-"

The teacher put up her hand to stop the student before he went on a tangent. "Kyle, you and Stan always work together, you need to find someone else. Now, if there are no more questions, you may pack up your belongings and get ready for lunch."

Stan and Kyle gathered their books and glared Cartman.

"Expand your horizons, my ass."

"C'mon, Kyle, it's just a stupid project…"

"Stan, you're gonna be stuck with a girl, acting out a romantic Shakespearean comedy. You don't even _understand _the words. This is terrible!"

"Oh, right…"

* * *

It was lunch time and I took a seat across from my friends. Kyle seemed to be fuming and Stan was just ignoring him now. Even if I hadn't seen them from the lunch line, it was obvious that Stan was trying to pacify his best friend only moments before. 

A couple of seconds later, a fat blob seated itself next to me. "Hey, guys. Can't wait for that project. Who are you working with?"

"Fuck you, fat-ass."

"I'm sorry, Kyle, I don't go that way, why don't you ask your little friend next to you. You might get better results."

Sometimes I don't even know why I put up with him.

Before Stan or Kyle could say anything, Wendy came over and tapped Stan's shoulder.

"Could I talk to you…alone?"

I'm pretty sure that's the first time she's ever been shy.

Stan just shrugged and got up from his seat. "I'll be right back guys."

Their conversation lasted 12.3 seconds. Stan was looking a little pale and seemed to be scared of the female that was currently following him back to the table.

"Well, Stan? Do you want to be my partner for the English project?"

So much for a shy Wendy.

Stan was looking to Kyle for help. He was lost without the red-head. Especially after Wendy had just given him a preview of what they could incorporate in their scene (1). But Kyle was still upset and just shrugged.

Stan, confused and slightly petrified, nodded.

"Awe, Kyle, your boyfriend just dumped you for a hippie-"

"Fuck you, Cartman," Wendy said angrily before she whipped around and stormed back to her table, where she animatedly told Bebe and Red of her little adventure.

Stan snapped out of his stupor and smiled at Wendy's insult.

"Maybe she's not so bad, after all."

A couple of tables away, I watched the girls, they turned and smiled at us. It looks like Stan wasn't the only prey the girls were after…at least for this project.

"_Hi-ho the derry-o,_

_The farmer takes a wife."_

* * *

(1) So there's no confusion, she just gave him a kiss. Nothing extraordinary, but this is Stan, so it's huge for him… 


	3. The Child

So, you guys want to know pairings, do you? Well, I can say, as an avid fan of Stan/Kyle, major points on their relationship (though I surprised myself when I wrote the outline, they are only going to be a 1/3 of the plot). The others…well, I guess that you'll just have to wait and see. I'm not being mean, I honestly just don't know. See, at first it was gonna be Cartman/Wendy, but then I realized this story is about Kenny, so shouldn't it be Kenny/Wendy…or a love triangle? There were so many options, so I'm just gonna let the story write itself. But I am open to valid persuasion. Give me a point that may change my perception as I write and I could very well change the course of the story, though the outcome is the same either way. Any other pairings you want are welcome to suggestion as well, its all in consideration, but I suggest if you want to give a suggestion, do it soon, cause I'm not going overboard and killing my plot, I only have so much extra room I can use.

Summary: Because the cheese stands alone…

Inspired by Robert Cormier's book, I am the Cheese…amazing book, the best summer reading I ever had. And I don't own it, well, I own a copy, but not the rights to it. Or South Park. But you knew that already.

* * *

**I Am The Cheese**

"_The wife picks a child,_

_The wife picks a child-"_

_Kenny's New Year's Resolution as he watches his friends count in the New Year:_

I hate those guys.

…I think I'm hanging around with Cartman a little too much. Well, it's not my fault. He's pretty much the only guy that will spend time with me anymore. Everyone else is always too wrapped up in problems of their own. As if we really have life-changing decisions to make in high school. But Cartman has changed since grade school, not by much, because he is Cartman, but he has improved, just a little.

Oh yeah, the guys. Well, sometimes, I really just hate them. They have something great and they just can't realize it. Sure, they love each other like brothers and are the best of friends, but I see so much more for them, even Cartman does, but he insults them rather than encourages. They have a bond with each other that is stronger than any bond they've shared with the few girls they've gone out with, collectively. I mean, I can only dream of having someone that special who actually cares about me.

To tell you the truth, I could never hate them, it's me that's the problem. I want what they have. I want them to realize what they have. I want a chance.

* * *

_A couple months later_

* * *

I had always been after girls, but I never had any luck getting them. Stan once told me that if I promised to commit, that I could have a girlfriend in a snap. But that was the root of my problem, I didn't care enough about the whores at our school to want a commitment. 

Anyways, Stan couldn't be the one to tell me that shit anyways, especially after what he did to Wendy. I mean, even I knew it was heartless to dump a girl in front of the majority of the high school population a week before the prom. Sure, she had been ragging on Kyle almost as much as Cartman, which was quite a feat in itself, and she had threatened to cut him off (from God knows what, we all know they never made it passed first base).

But I do have to thank Stan. You see, it happened at the most important football game of the year. Kyle and Wendy were sitting as close to the home-team benches as they could, probably so they could talk to Stan during the defensive plays. Cartman and I found them during half-time and sat with them, which wasn't the greatest idea on my part. Kyle and Wendy were never on good terms, they were always vying for Stan's attention (Kyle usually won). Put Cartman in the picture…bad decision. Usually it would cause a mutual bond for Wendy and Kyle and they would both fight Cartman and his intolerable insults about hippie, sexual preferences, and religion. But a pissed off Kyle and a bitching Wendy were worse when Cartman egged them on.

I dunno. Sometimes Cartman makes me think. For instance, I'm pretty sure Cartman and Wendy have shared more heated moments and tension than Stan and Wendy ever have. Cartman actually notices she's in the same room as he is, not to mention that he spends more time with her. As bad as he is, he would give her the time of day. As for Cartman's opinion on Kyle, barring his religious discrimination, of course, I hate to admit it, but sometimes Cartman didn't seem so far off the mark when it came to his 'gaydar,' especially when it comes to the super best friends of South Park High School.

Right, so that football game… Stan had passed the winning touchdown and was bombarded by his ecstatic team members. Soon, the crowd invaded the field, as well. Somehow, we all got to Stan together. Instead of taking a congratulatory kiss from his girlfriend of two years (God knows I would if Stan wasn't standing in the way), Stan sought out _Kyle _for a _hug. _Yeah, sometimes I just have to agree with Cartman, they are so gay for each other.

Well, of course this didn't go over well with Wendy. She yelled at Stan, which caused Kyle to get mad, because God-forbid _anyone _bash on Stan in his presence. In turn, this caused Wendy to go over the edge. She put it in her threats, used some of Cartman's well-prepared phrases meant to rag on Kyle (Cartman was actually looking pleased about that), and all Stan did was frown.

In the midst of hundreds of cheering students (I'm pretty sure half of them aren't even from our school, but football games are the easiest places to get high, so obviously they are a very popular hangout), Stan calmly told Wendy he was done and grabbed Kyle's arm, dragging him across the football field and into the locker room. Kyle didn't look too heartbroken over the news or the fact that he was being dragged by Stan into a more secluded room. Who knows what happened to them after that. I wish I did.

So back to Stan's ex-girlfriend. She was sorta just standing there with a blank look on her face. Really out of it. Me and Cartman took her inside the school and Cartman gave her that "plenty more fish in the sea" crap. She was pretty shaken up. Cartman offered, well, more like demanded that he give her a ride home. She didn't even fight him, she just let him do as he pleased. When I saw Cartman lead Wendy away, I suddenly felt a twinge of jealously. _I _wanted to give her a ride home and make sure she was okay.

Somewhere between the end of the football game and then, I had fallen for Wendy. Maybe it was because she looked so vulnerable, that she actually was human and not some super-human girl that could do everything, or maybe it was just because now I had a chance. After all, there had to be at least one girl worth fighting for in this screwed up town.

* * *

I decided that, starting on Monday, I would ask Wendy to the prom. After all, I'm pretty sure Stan wasn't taking her anymore. 

I had Spanish class with her. So did Cartman. Both of us had not gotten into the Honors level courses, but Kyle, Wendy, and Stan (with the help of Kyle's study groups) did. We sat close enough that I could pass notes and not be caught by the teacher. I'm pretty sure the teacher wouldn't care, I mean, none of the teachers got any better after Mrs. Garrison, but I didn't want to risk getting a detention.

For a while, it was small talk, but Wendy finally caved in and told me she'd been depressed all weekend. I told her that she shouldn't let him get to her. Apparently, it was more then just that. She _loved _him and he was _perfect. _So I told her she shouldn't be alone. It was odd; she smiled and said she wasn't alone. Someone was looking after her. That got me worried. Who was already making a move?

I didn't want to lose my chance, so I just asked her outright if she would go with me to the prom. It's not like we weren't friends or anything.

She was shocked. She hesitated for a moment and glanced at the fat-ass, who ignored her. Then she looked back at me and nodded slowly. I guess I was better than nothing.

* * *

I've always found it funny how everyone always refers to it as _the _prom. As if there aren't fifty billion other high schools who have a prom every year. And Wendy was no exception. 

It was the night of the prom. An hour and twenty-seven minutes before, to be exact. I was sitting on Wendy's couch, waiting for her to come downstairs. She was freaking out, she had to be perfect or else. I mean, not that I don't appreciate the effort (which I figure was to show Stan what he lost), but she's gonna be dancing all night. Whatever effort goes into her appearance will be gone within a half an hour. Whatever. I don't care.

By the time Wendy was ready, we didn't have enough time to go to the nice restaurant we had planned on going to and went to Shakey's instead. Food is food.

As soon as we entered the prom, we took the cliché prom pictures and made our way to the table where Cartman and some random girl who looked oddly like Cartman sat. About ten minutes later, Stan and Kyle came in, dateless and together. They probably took Kyle's car and carpooled. They were standing in the entrance line, which required those stupid pictures upon entry. The friends gave their ticket to the doorman and were about to leave, when the camera guy asked if the next couple would step in the picture booth. Stan shrugged and Kyle smiled. They took their prom picture together. Honestly, can't they just save us the frustration and come out of the closet now?

Wendy was pretty tense during that ordeal. She was watching them, too. Instead of waiting for them to join us, she grabbed the closest arm and dragged the lucky boy to the dance floor. Unfortunately, it was not my arm, it was Cartman's.

* * *

The prom was pretty boring. I was stuck with Cartman's date, and we danced a bit. Stan and Kyle were too wrapped up in the moment to notice much of anything and were dancing the night away. They were the only ones thoroughly enjoying themselves. Wendy was too busy watching them, and Cartman was too busy trying to distract Wendy. I think she didn't mind Cartman because she smiled so much when she was around him. I was too busy watching Wendy, and I'm pretty sure that just pissed off Cartman's date. She acted a lot like him, at least from what I observed. She hated to be ignored, so I handed her off to Butters and went to get some punch. 

This was the best punch I'd ever tasted. I account this fact to the observation that it was spiked…with several different alcoholic beverages. Being the amazing friend that I am, I brought a hearty serving to Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Wendy. Cartman's date had disappeared after I introduced her to Butters.

After one cup of the punch, we all seemed to be pretty addicted and took several more drinks. Not the brightest idea, but we'd deal with the hangovers tomorrow morning.

A slow dance started playing a couple minutes later. Wendy accepted me as a dance partner. I watched Stan and Kyle. They seemed to be in a deep conversation. All of the sudden, both of them got up from their seats and briskly walked into the lobby. Wendy saw this too.

Wendy decided it would be a good idea to apologize to them now. She isn't that bright when her brain has been intoxicated.

That punch must really have affected her, though. One, she would never apologize, she was as bad as Cartman. Two, she didn't do anything to them together, she really only had a problem with Stan. And three, she didn't do anything wrong, she was the victim of the breakup.

Whatever, I followed her out to the lobby, and Cartman decided to follow, too. I guess he was really bored. Wendy took a left into a dark hall. There were two figures at the end of the hall. One figure had the other pinned up against the wall. I smiled, they looked pretty into it. Wendy frowned. My eyes adjusted to the darker hallway and I saw why.

Wendy turned and sprinted the opposite direction, tears in her eyes. Unfortunately, a fat blob, which really wasn't quite so fat anymore, stood in her way and wrapped his arms around her as she collapsed into him.

He led her outside and they made their way to his car. He had been right all along.

I was happy for them, all of them. It's just, now I'm all alone.

* * *

No matter how he justified it, he still did it. Oh, believe me, he did it alright. Called me the next morning to tell me. He and Wendy, well, they slept together. I wouldn't have been surprised if Stan or Kyle called me to tell me they had, too. The way they were going at it last night. 

The next week in school was terrible. Wendy was constantly sick, Cartman was intolerably pleased with himself, and Stan and Kyle were in a world of their own (I was happy for them, don't get me wrong). Our school was very tolerant these days, not that them coming out was a big surprise to anyone (aside from Wendy), but our generation was so fucked up that no one gave a second glance at things like this.

It wasn't until Saturday morning, when Cartman rang my doorbell, that Wendy's sickness made sense.

"I need your help," he had told me.

"You look like shit." Well, he did.

"How do you propose?"

That had confused me.

"Propose, stupid! Ask someone to marry you…"

He hadn't even insulted me. This must be really important.

"Why?"

Cartman had sighed as if the whole world was resting on his shoulders. As if it would ever trust him.

"That night, after prom, it had consequences, Kenny. I have to marry her!"

It all made sense now. He really cared about her, enough to act serious, no matter how absurd his course of action was. Honestly, how could I not help the guy? She chose him, him and the baby, not me.

"_Hi-ho the derry-o,_

_The wife picks a child."_

* * *

So the prom, I once saw a movie where upon entering, you have to take a picture with your date. I haven't been to prom yet, so I don't really know. I do know that you need a date and there are ticket people upon arrival. Also, Cartman went with his cousin. 

So, I tried a different style this chapter because it worked for it. I hope it was entertaining. I'm not ashamed of it, and I got it to be over 25 hundred words. Pretty sweet.

I appreciate the feedback wink, wink


	4. The Nurse

It has been a long time. Sorry about that. I have legitimate reasons, but they aren't important. What's important is I've overcome my writer's block and figured out how to end this story, because the story got very sidetracked from the original plan and I didn't know how to end it. Hopefully you guys haven't forgotten the story. It's going to be a good one (very dramatic and twisty-endings).

Summary: Because the cheese stands alone…

Inspired by Robert Cormier's book, I am the Cheese…amazing book, the best summer reading I ever had. And I don't own it, well, I own a copy, but not the rights to it. Or South Park. But you knew that already.

* * *

**I Am The Cheese**

"_The child picks a nurse,_

_The child picks a nurse-"_

Graduation was in two days.

Two days and we would be free from the hell.

South Park is normally a fucked-up place. Ever since Cartman got Wendy pregnant, it has just been worse. All of the sudden, Cartman actually cares about someone other than himself. And people know. They'd have to be morons not to notice how Cartman treats her… and how he treats everyone else.

Cartman was an asshole before, no doubt about that, but now he's a complete bastard. If you so much as look at Wendy the wrong way, you're dog food. And I mean that in the most literal sense. This kid, Marcus, well he was talking about Wendy being a whore. Cartman found out that day. No one's seen him since then.

Stan just better watch out. Cartman knows Wendy loved Stan. I don't even know if that can be said in the past tense. But they're like best friends now. Granted, not super best friends like Stan and Kyle, but close enough to threaten Cartman. Wendy has this idea that Stan's the sensitive guy who can relate to Wendy, for whatever reason that may be. She's been telling him everything ever since she found out she was having a baby. Must be the hormones.

Kyle doesn't seem to care. He actually finds it quite funny. But Cartman cares. And he's the dangerous one.

Wendy's not stupid, though. She's started using the phone more and not seeing Stan in person. At least, not when Cartman is around. If you ask me, which no one has, I thinks it is pathetic the way she has to sneak around her fiancé to talk to her friends.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Wendy said yes.

I'm over it, as long as I don't have to be the best man.

Wendy is beginning to show, which means that she's going to want to have the wedding soon. No one wants to look fat at their wedding, or so I've heard.

But first, we need to get through this graduation. The days seem to go by as if they were weeks. I've been sitting here for two hours, waiting until six o'clock so that I can head over to Kyle's house. He's having a pre-graduation party. His parents are going to get his grandparents in Denver for graduation, so they're gone for the night. We have one chance to party and the hell if we pass it up!

…at least nothing like the prom incident can happen again.

* * *

I was wrong.

Some kids decided to crash the party, not that it really could be crashed, but they ruined a tone of Kyle's furniture. He's going to get in so much trouble. Mrs. Brovsloski can really be a bitch sometimes.

And no, that wasn't the worst part. Remember Gregory? Well, he moved away after the Terrance and Phillip incident. We all thought he just couldn't handle the illogical sense that was South Park, but it turned out that it was his father got a job in Arizona. About a year ago, Gregory came back. He was almost lucky enough to get out of this hellhole, but alas, once South Park has you, you can never escape.

When Gregory came back, Wendy forbid herself from speaking to him, in fear she would be seen as a flirt (and look where she is now). She was going out with Stan at that time. But Stan really didn't care whether or not Wendy spoke to Gregory.

At the party, Gregory finally gathered up his courage and talked to Wendy. It was really stupid if you ask me. He was all chivalrous and heroic. He said, and I quote, "Wendy, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be there. If you ever need someone to go to, I'll be there. And Wendy, if you ever are feeling down, I'll be there."

Really, I felt quite sick after that ordeal. Gregory was totally hitting on an ex-fling that was pregnant and about to be married. And Wendy didn't seem all that appalled.

Not long after, Cartman arrived on the scene. Apparently, he had been working out their living arrangements after graduation. They were living at Cartman's home in his old room.

So much for college.

So much for a life after high school.

So much for all of Wendy's hopes and dreams.

"_Hi-ho the derry-o_

_The child picks a nurse."_

* * *

Sorry it was so short, but that's the way it was supposed to turn out if I want the rest of the story to work out. I know it doesn't seem that important, but it was very vital to my plot. It is a crappy chapter, but I'm on vacation this week, and if I get my projects and homework done, I'll write more. I've already started on the next chapter. But my teachers gave me craploads of work to do. I guess that's what I get for taking an extra language course and three AP classes in junior year. Oh well.

I hope you liked this chapter. Tell me what you think, it always fuels the imagination.


End file.
